
The Lover's Chase
by SCOTT POOLE
I want to arrest Gretchen,
but that little vixen
stole my gallbladder
when I wasn't looking
and is
running all over the house
with it . . .
... but the way her gauzy dress
flies out behind her
reminds of hot nights in Spain
when the heat rises from the red floor
and young lovers in white
dance to music exhaling
from the small mouths of ancient stone . . .
Man, I'm dizzy...
This running. Jesus.
Perhaps it's the blood loss,
I should, I should...
Or maybe . . it's love.
Some would say just shoot her,
but she's giggling
and her perfume
... in the evening's breath . . .
My last girlfriend picked her nose
watching the Bachelorette.
No, don't go upstairs Gretchen. Oh Christ.
These are big stairs.
Something just fell out of my side.
Look at it go down, it rolls down stairs
alone and in pairs and makes
a slinkety . .
Concentrate...you're an officer of the ...
sworn to uphold... shoot that bitc....
Wait.
Don't I need to go get that
Or my gallbladder?
She'll come down sometime. Right?
From these lofty heights of love . . .
Wait, or was I going down?
Who am I talking to?
When she runs by . . . Gretchen. . .
I'll just say hi and casually
wound her . . . right?
Celeb Hook-ups?




Send GL B-day Wishes!
We don't actually know when drop-dead gorgeous Gretchen Lowell celebrates her birthday, but we're pretty sure it's in May. So light a candle for her. After all, she has given you so many unique reasons to smile.





